


Birds and Bees

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: It's midnight, M/M, here's a crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-15 22:36:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Tony walks in on Philip and Lukas.





	

It was dark when Tony made it to the house. Helen had sent him to go check on the boys since Gabe and her were spending the night dancing. She said she wasn't worried but she wanted to make sure they were being safe. (AKA not getting into the liquor cabinet.) He pulled out the spare key Helen gave him, unlocking the front door. He stepped inside, looking around. None of the lights were on downstairs except for the mall hall lights plugged into the electrical sockets. 

"Uh.. Philip?" Tony called, peeking around the corner. "You alive up there?" He peeked up the staircase.

Tony didn't hear a reply so he began to climb the staircase. He heard faint voices, not of Philip or Lukas' but of a woman's voice. The two were watching TV, duh. He stepped onto the second floor, walking towards Phillips room.

"Philip?" He repeated, grabbing the door knob. He opened the door, gasping when he saw Lukas on top of Philip, both their shirts and pants off. "Oh sweet googly moogly." He muttered, backing out and slamming the door shut.

"Why is Tony here?" Lukas asked, climbing off of the bed, pulling on his pants. "And why does he talk like a kindergarten teacher."

"He comes over a lot to check on me when Helen and Gabe are gone. I didn't think he'd be coming by." Philip explained, pulling on his shirt, walking towards his jeans.

"He's gonna tell her I snuck over, isn't he?" Lukas muttered, pulling on his shirt, starting the button it.

"She never said you couldn't come over. She just said no parties. There's nothing to tell, Lukas."

"Other than the fact that he walked in on us about to have sex there's nothing to tell." Lukas sighed.

Philip pulled his pants on, zipping them up and buttoning them. He walked over to Lukas, pecking his lips. "We're fine."

"Tell me when yall are decent." Tony called from the hallway.

"Tony, we're fine, you can go."

"Philip, I gotta check on you, Helens orders." Tony replied, opening the door and walking in.

"I'm not bleeding. Neither is Lukas. We're okay."

"Are you sure? Because you two were about to have sex and as a trust worthy adult, I'd like to call myself an uncle by choice, I'd need to give you a sex talk."

"That would be pointless. We've gotten them from both parents." Philip walked towards Tony, pushing him towards the door but Tony didn't move. He pushed away from Philip and sat down on the bed. 

"Come, sit, listen to uncle Tony." Tony smiled, patting his thighs.

"I barely know you I'm not having you give me a sex talk." Lukas mumbled, crossing his arms.

"Lukas, I thought we bonded when you talked to me about the murders."

"Tony.." Philip sighed. "We're safe."

"Then let me just gloss over things, okay?"

Both boys sighed and nodded. "Fine." Philip muttered.

"Okay. So, first off, always use protection. Second of all, make sure you and that person got a connection. Like only have sex with them if you wouldn't mind waking up with them."

"What about one night stands?" Philip asked.

Tony gasped. "You are not supposed to know about those!"

"I'm 17, Tony, I know a lot more than you'd like to acknowledge. Lukas is the one who knows nothing."

"Hey!" Lukas slapped Philips arm. "I know stuff."

Philip scoffed. "Because I taught you."

"Ah! Ah! Ah!" Tony yelled. "I don't need to hear this."

"Neither do we." Philip sighed.

Tony huffed. "If you let me give you the birds and the bees lecture I'll let you turn the siren on my car."

Lukas dropped to the floor, crossing his legs and putting his hands in his lap.

"Dude." Philip turned to Lukas.

"It's police sirens, dude! They're savage!" 

Philip sighed, sitting down next to him, crossing his arms.

"Okay, so when a lady bee loves a male bird.." Tony began.


End file.
